I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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