Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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