i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
