Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
