And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
