I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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