That's intense
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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