He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
