Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
