you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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