remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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