he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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