five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Randomize
