dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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