My room smells like vodka and shame
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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