Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
