Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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