Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
When are your genitals available?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
