I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
