I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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