After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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