so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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