So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
