This is not my ceiling
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
