So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
