This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Help me help you realize you are a moron
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
