no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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