I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
