I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
