You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
