your parents love me but you hate me
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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