apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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