shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
