So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
