Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
