Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
