No period for spring break; use this wisely.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
