So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
