And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
