Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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