if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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