They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
you will always have a special place in my vag
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
