It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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