I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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