I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
