She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I just found puke in my bra..
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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