who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
