omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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