There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
the room spins SO much faster in panama
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
