Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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