Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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