while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
