Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
