my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
