...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
