your room smells of hookers.
And success
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
