i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
