I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Semen is not good for contacts.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
