Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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