I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
