Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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