Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
