It's a beautiful day for a hangover
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
