its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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